disciplina

How happy is the person whom God reproves, So do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. Job 5:17

Discipline has always been perplexing to me. I know it is needed but how does it work and how do you do it? Since Zion was about 8 months it was obvious that this strong-willed wonder was going to need some firm direction. It seems that each time KJ and I both are really frustrated with Zion some changes in discipline are needed.

What has been amazing to me is how very painful disciplining is for me. It is easy to be mad at someone because they are being a total pest. But most discipline (if you're trying to be consistent) comes in the small things. It is those little things that give a basis for the big things. However, in the small things when a new area is being disciplined there is this little voice that says, "Come on. He only did it once." It's tough! I sometimes like to hear Zion's cries of anguish because of the discipline. I, too, like to remember the pain of (my) will bending.

The other day I was listening to him scream and I was reflecting on how often, even in the small things, I go down kicking and screaming too. I know that my discipline is good for Zion. The results are immediate. It is unbelievable! It has caused me to reflect on my own life and how often I might not receive or even notice God's discipline. So, what they hay? I asked for God's discipline. And God delivered. And most of me likes it (except for that tiny part that goes down kicking and screaming).

The interesting thing about discipline is that there is a blessing tied with it. Our friend Daniel says that "your discipline to your child IS grace." yep. it's true. but painful. and true.

sick day

yesterday zion was sick and the snugliest boy ever. well. for him.

birthday week

this past week was the best week of my entire life.
you know when you have those moments of pure bliss that you cannot imagine life getting any better and you want to devour the moment and carry it with you forever? that was the way i felt this past week. i think it is because i generally feel on the outside of friend groups or possibly friends in general.

to hear my friends so happy to honor and celebrate me was a new concept. i realized that my self-image has been very harsh lately. hearing my friends pray over me, reading their wonderful cards and receiving gifts -that only my heart knew i wanted- was indescribable.

it reminded me of my friend christy who was trying to be free of the "biblical standard' proverbs 31 woman. i told that is who she is and that she needs it read over her; it is better to be told who we are and grow into it then to be told who we should be. (in writing this i realize the need to speak good things over people and see their hearts beyond what they are acting like in the moment).

to me, all of this emotion can be summed up in the picture above. these african women and children are using hippo rollers that allow them to roll their water jugs instead of heaving them on their backs and heads. for them, the blessing of water felt like a curse because they hurt their bodies carrying it. when someone found an easy solution these women and children are now able to enjoy the walk to get water. to me, it is like my friends. they are always here, i just needed an avenue to know how much they cared. thank you everyone.

tv

kj and i watch tv on our computer. i have found probably one of my all-time favorite shows that only blatantly sold merchandise (instead of trying to subliminally sell a concept or product) and is about artsy peope post-college trying to live out their ideals in the conundrum of corporate-ness, etc and blogging their way through it. obviously it wasn't a hit.
you can check out the first 6 episodes on nbc.com.

unschooling

[Unschooling ] simply takes being open to the lives our children wish to live, and learning to trust in and nurture the inner voice that each child is born with- Alison McKee

Learning is not the product of teaching. Learning is the product of the activity of learners- John Holt

A little while ago, when Zion was simply a thought in the Tencza consciousness, KJ and I went on a day trip to Copper Mountain. On our drive home, seemingly out of nowhere, KJ told me of how he had had thought of us homeschooling Zion-and he liked it. He told me of how exciting it would be to experience life with him, teach him through real-life experiences, and travel to different countries as part of his education (except at this point in time there was no name for Zion in our consciousness. We were talking about our child someday). I looked over at KJ cockeyed and wondered where this crazy idea had come from. It is not anything unusual for KJ to throw an idea at me from "nowhere." I smiled at the irony of it all; for years we have ridiculed homeschooling because of the very awkward product that it produces. But now, we actually had good models of homeschooled children. To us, a good homeschooled child seems like a schooled child. I know you know what I mean. It is the motivation that scares us. Parents who homeschool to "protect" their children from the bad world tend to produce the most troubled adults.

So, the thought was planted. Then we talked to a friend, Betony Coons, who said that she was unschooled . Betony is about as cool a cat as they come so we knew that her parents did something right. She told us how she was unschooled and how each of the kids in her family were free to pursue their own interests. By the time they were 18 they were secure in themselves and their abilities. Huh. I still didn't understand it, but I liked it.

Then we had a son. This son of ours seems to follow many of KJ's non-normal patterns of being and (maybe?) learning. Hmmm. KJ and I both love teaching and learning. It is who we are. At my work in the library I work to promote interactive forms of learning by combining literacy and fun. I am also a keen sociologist with tons of materials at my fingertips. I have begun to notice parents, daycares, and how they interact with those for whom they care. I have talked to my favorite parents and learned that, indeed, they do seem to follow certain premises and I have studied up on them (the disciplinary style of love and logic (Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical parenting from Birth to Five Years by Jim Faye) and unschooling.


Unschooling is child-directed learning that focuses on the joy and wonder of learning. It's core principle is that an individual will learn what she/he needs to know when it is time. Right, I thought. But could I really be that creative and would that work when Zion gets older and bored? Initially I thought that KJ would be amazing at this and I would just really have to work at it to be like him.

I have devoured accounts of unschoolers. I believe that schooling your child is an act of faith and trust. It allows for the special individual attention that in which a child can flourish. The more I have learn and read, the more convinced I am that this is the best thing for our family and that I can do this; even more, my heart longs for this. I suppose that this is the way schooling occurred long ago and produced the likes of Thomas Edison. I like to think of it as producing a Renaissance person. The world truly is our classroom.

After studying this I see that I am an unschooler and living with KJ has taught me how to use every resource I have to learn. This is how I live. Stay tuned: many adventures to come.

musingsconnected

yesterday was an absolutely fabulous day. kj and i had a chance to spend the entire day together and frolick and all... thanks to fabulous friend christy and time off from work.

at the beginning of our day we went to hot yoga together (somewhat ironic that it is one of our favorite past times now). the instructor talked about how when you do hot yoga a lot, say 30-60 days in a row, instead of the wonderful feeling -my spine and body feel like i am 10 years old- it is quite common to experience old injuries all over again. she told us that this happens because the body is healing those injuries properly.

a fundamental of judaism is the belief that the physical action must come first before the spiritual. a fundamental of american christianity is the reverse: first the spiritual, which will make you want to do the physical.

kj has been on a huge kick of experiencing the human we will naturally understand the divine grace of God.

my friend, nichole, taught me a few years ago that healing (spiritual and emotional) has many layers. God will continually peel back new layers of wounds , like an onion i suppose, when we are ready.

what does it mean to heal both our body and spirit? and, more importantly, are they interrelated?

i think my current understanding of healing is that we still feel the pain of the wounds, but we are able to leave behind the bad feelings (bitterness, envy, forms of anger).

who knows? if it is true, first the physical then the spiritual, then i must conclude that Jesus was
in fact an avid yogi.

he works hard for the milk!

we had a blast working outside in the beautiful weather yesterday. today, there is snow on the ground. oh, colorado.

Here he is-doing his thing.



And this is what he did when I wasn't watching and when I was.