road trip

This past week Zi and i 'tripped it all the way to Ioway and back through terrible snowy weather and then through just excessively cold weather.

It was a wonderful trip. Zion did marvelously both ways and rewarded my mom with familiarity and extra hugs around strangers.

I don't know how to describe it -even though at times he can be downright frustrating- my love for Zion continues to grow. It makes me feel so close to the face of God.

My son is a gem with many facets that we are allowed to delight in.

Being a parent has brought about many new struggles and I think that the Coach on Friday Night Lights said it best when his wife was stressing about the burden of childcare for their baby girl: it is our gift, not our burden.

Childcare is probably my biggest "gift" as of late. I just got back this week and KJ is leaving to go away this weekend so I need to ask for help during his usual Zion-time when I work Saturday mornings.

Over the trip I completed two audiobooks/memoirs: Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris and Mommies Who Drink by Brett Paesel.

Both were stunningly good. I was also in the mood for introspection and real-life sharing.

David Sedaris is just plain excellent and hilarious at sharing family dynamics and his own story. Brett's book was so familiar in many ways as she tells her tale of being a mother and a wife. She also reminded me of my friend bethany lavoo (i miss you!) out in LA working the acting realm.

I have often remarked (recently) how I am a nonfiction kind of girl. I think this is because I love being a part of people's lives (and maybe without actually being is someone else's life). As a girl I loved books because they took me to many different places and I lived so many different lives; as an adult I feel the same way; their truth, their experience becomes my own.

I remember in junior high, in particular, I would often wonder what everyone else's lives were like. I knew that they had to be having some incredible experience that I was missing out on.

Now I know that is not true. Now I feel the opposite most of the time. However, the idea still creeps into my head. Memoirs, nonfiction, allow me into these private spaces.

And, ironically, I think this is why i feel the need to keep a blog. I want to share what I am thinking, sometimes, at least for myself. I want others to live my life with me.

Zion Walks! (with a little help)

With a little help, the little man is more then moving!

He is 9 months and 5 days old.

family values

I have been thinking a lot about what family values are, and who in our society actually embodies them.

It seems to me that family values= time + intentional time + teaching. Or, obviously, valuing the family. Since the last election was won on this principle* (and we have been following presidential politics closely these days) I think that the idea(l) resonates with the majority of Americans.

I have been watching a lot of videos and reading about normal folk raising their own roofs and making homes that are environmentally friendly and tons cheaper. Again and again they say how this allows them to not have to work to pay off a mortgage, but to work less and live more. Many of them also talk about the importance of being with their children.

Environmentalists? Hippies? Family values?

Because family values has so much to do with family time, I thought I would compare how we stacked up against other "non-family values" countries with maternity leave:

Canada: 15 weeks of maternity and 35 weeks of parental leave with 55% of average earnings to a maximum of $413.

New Zealand: either parent is entitled to a period of leave of 52 weeks while ensuring job protection. However, this leave is unpaid and is restricted to employees who have worked for at least 12 months for the same employer

Sweden: 450 days of paid parental leave and provisions for paid breastfeeding breaks during a working day for all nursing mothers, as well as crèche facilities.

France: 16 weeks of maternity benefits at 84 per cent of the minimum daily wage for the 1st and for the 2nd child. For subsequent children the leave is 24 weeks.

The United States: 6 weeks paid and up to a total of 12 weeks unpaid.

So. Family values.

*Unfortunately, the platform that got our current President elected was erroneous and, let's face it, based on gay marriage and abortion.
What he has done is enact bills that have hurt senior citizens and children.
Kinda reminds me of another leader who sough to purify (the Jews from) the homeland by preaching family values.

Yendra officially backs Hillary for president!

Alright. It's time for me to make my stand.

I realize that she can be abrasive. Uncharismatic. .. And I know she won't be able to institutionalize national healthcare.* But, she is the only candidate that might come close. She's uber-intelligent, has the most experience and will give everything to the job. Now, I love Obama. I love his charm and his heart, but that will not get the job done. However, if they were running mates... that would do the trick. The honest truth is that if Obama ran for president and chose Hillary as his v.p. they would have a better shot at winning. Then she would still bring about a lot of great change. but... if things were as i wish they were, Hillary would be president.

*I just found out today that the birth of our son with health insurance, excluding premiums will be $4,500.

classical, tension

i hope to be able to be more at peace this year with the tension of humanity. you know how it is: there you are enjoying life and then nighttime comes and you feel mortal. or: you make a commitment to be a better human and love deeply and care about all and then you find yourself treating someone like crap or eating food out of season.

with my whole heart i have been trying to be a good consumer. and i mean it when i say good. i am trying to buy cleaning products that are not harmful to the environment or to my family, we try to buy local and organic food; i dream of building a home out of straw bale and local resources that is off the grid.

each step takes me closer. and with each step i must be careful. i do not want to hurt others in the process nor do i want to make this an obsession and lose the meaning of the desire- which is love, goodness, creativity and responsibility= heaven.

so, i checked out a book called:
The Global warming survival handbook : 77 essential skills to stop climate change-- or live through it /
by Rothschild, David

and i am trying to take itty bitty steps in our home and at work.

i shop at a dented goods store. it is my absolute favorite, because you never know what you will find there! i found that they had the compact fluoresecent (cfl) bulbs that save lots of energy. see my lovely picture.

get this: if every american household replaced at least one of their incandescent bulbs with a cfl we would be able to prevent greenhouse gases equivalent to annual emissions of nearly 800,000 cars.

i believe with all my heart that if we all make an effort and do something to care we are creating heaven.

care. it's the best.

commitments

Today is the day of the baby shower for our friend Lindsay and Erik. There is a lot of anticipation for us because it is almost like it is our baby. We are grateful that our son will be almost a year old when their baby is born- so we are able to pass on almost everything from his first year. Since we aren't able to give them ginormous gifts like we would like to- we decided to wrap up what we bought them in one bag and then put all the other new items or nice items in bags as gifts. I have learned from our friend (Aunt) Erin the art of gifting; everything is special and beautiful in the gifts she gives our son. We wanted to do the same for our friends. Here is what we are giving them:

The other best part about today is that we have officially started paying a babysitter for our date nite. This is a big deal to me because I am a cheapskate, but I now understand that without a quality datenite (3 hours!) each week our relationship stinks.

I have also committed to posting blogs for the next three days... and I'm going to try a video blog.

a year in review: 2007

"And a sword shall pierce her heart." This year as a mother I feel that I have experienced humanity as never before. I feel closer to the earth and quite possibly closer to eternity. I feel closer to my family and those around me. I believe that I understand the human spirit more. All because of a son.

In reflecting back over this year to the pregnancy and expectation of last year I cannot believe that I could be so lucky. Well, first of all, I learned that I enjoy babies. But even more so I adore my quirky, animated and lively son. He has stolen my heart and I will never be the same. Eternity seems to exist all around us and in between. Perhaps it is the promise of hope. Perhaps it is because I expect many years of adventure and learning together. Perhaps because he has centered me again to my live's purpose and my heart's desires. And, perhaps because he is the essence of them.

This year, I reflect on the bliss of being closer to families, feeling and commiting to be closer to you all, and the joy of a community at home. I am filled with longing towards the future, as our hearts are open and aware of their dreams.

And, I am grateful to now be the most mysterious and wonderous thing of all: a mom.